How I Meditate

I have always been an extremely spiritual person. I didn't always know what that meant (in general or to me personally), but looking back I have never felt like I have been without it. Some people turn to religion in the same way I turn to spirituality - it is a way to find peace.

A huge part of my own personal spiritual journey is meditating. I am by no means an expert, and I firmly believe I have MUCH more to learn about this practice, but it has helped me in various ways. As someone with anxiety and panic attacks, the ability to meditate can help to alleviate those circumstances. But meditation is something EVERYONE should practice - not just if you feel stressed or anxious. It's something to learn to make a part of your every day!

A lot of people claim they are unable to meditate, and before I started I always assumed I would do it wrong or I'd get bored before I could truly find the inner peace I wanted to achieve. However, there is no right or wrong way to meditate. There are steps you can follow in order to make your meditating more successful, but the way you choose to relax is never wrong.

A lot of people also claim that meditation is useless. While opinions are always valid and accepted, meditation actually has a lot of benefits:

• Calms anxiety and/or stress
• Can help lower blood sugar
• Slows down heart rate and blood circulation
• Helps with well-being
• Allows one to understand their own mind
• Brings peace internally 

So again, this is the knowledge I personally have on meditation and some of the steps I find are best for me when I sit down to do it. I am constantly learning and absorbing more, but I thought I would write a quick how-to in case anyone wants to give it a shot. :)

There are 2 "types" of meditation I know about (although sometimes they can be combined as well):

1. Concentration meditation.  I find this to be more difficult sometimes but it is also very beneficial for finding that inner peace. Concentration meditation involves essentially emptying your mind. This entails focusing on one single point - usually people will focus on their breathing but you can also focus on a single word, or a mantra, slow spiritual music, etc. I personally prefer a silent environment when I meditate so I am one to focus on my breath. Whenever your mind begins to wander, bring it BACK to your breathing. 
2. Mindfullness meditation. This one has always felt more natural for me, as my mind tends to move 100 miles a minute. Instead of emptying your mind of all wandering thoughts, actually FOCUS on those thoughts. Don't overthink them or begin to conjure up emotion because of them, just simply note that they are there. This is kind of cool because you can see how your thought process works. We don't usually notice how quickly our thoughts go from one thing to another, or the patterns that may be present. This, I find, helps with inner balance tremendously. 

** You can also try guided meditations, in which you're listening to something or someone! This can be distracting to some due to a person speaking and sometimes chanting, but is super helpful for others!**

I like to combine these two types of meditation for myself. I intend to focus on breathing but I don't force myself back when it wanders immediately. I like to see how my thinking operates, and it sheds light on a lot of different things for me.

With all of that said, here are the steps I use while meditating. When you first start, try to meditate for 2 to 3 minutes. Slowly, as you continue, you will be able to keep your focus longer. I am now up to about 15-20 minutes.

1. Put your phone away! Seriously, make sure it's on do not disturb. There is nothing like finally finding that calm and having your phone go off. Really ruins the moment. 
2. Relax. Try and make sure your mind and body are nice and calm before you begin. You really can't go from feeling insanely stressed to meditation without relaxing a little first.
3. Get comfy & sit. Sit up nice and straight but make sure you are comfortable. You can sit on your bed, the floor, a meditation cushion, etc. 
4. Close your eyes. I think this is the best way to eliminate any distractions and really begin to let yourself get inside your own mind.
5. Breathe naturally. Don't think about it too much. While you are focusing on your breathing, don't try and breathe a certain way. Just breathe like you always do. 
6. Begin focusing on your breaths.  Notice how your body moves in tune with your breathing. Are you taking deep breaths? Shallow breaths? Are you breathing out of your mouth or your nose? 

You can choose to let your mind wander or not, but other than that, it's really all in your hands how you practice! 

There is an awesome guided meditation app that includes a timer called Sattva. It includes chants, music, challenges, virtual group meditating, little bits of wisdom and so much more. The first guided meditation I ever did was called "De Stress" by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, who is a humanitarian/spirituality teacher and an ambassador of peace. It was only about 6 minutes long. I personally love this app, but you don't really need any outside tools if you don't want them. There are also YouTube videos with guided meditations you can try if you are having trouble. 

Give it a shot! It doesn't work for everyone but you won't know until you try :)

A YEAR LATER...

Despite my lack of writing in the past year or so, I have learned a tremendous amount about myself and about life.

I'm not going to lie, at 22, I thought I knew it all. I felt like I had everything figured out.

So now, here I am, 23 going on 24, sitting in my bed, covered in paint from some therapeutic painting sessions throughout my day, wondering how in the hell one measly year has taught me so much more than I could have ever imagined.

Now, this isn't going to be a universally helpful post with advice and "things I learned that will totally help you out too!" like I've done in the past. This blog is about things I have learned along the way. And I've accepted that sometimes I learn things about myself and where I'm at personally that others don't relate to and maybe never will.

Therefore, here is a list of things I learned about myself in the year since I've graduated college and began a whole new chapter in my life.

1. I am not looking for a relationship. Geez, for so long I thought that's what I needed and wanted. It was so frustrating when I'd meet a new guy, begin thinking about all of the wonderful possibilities there could be with him, and then be sitting across the table from him wishing I could dash out and run home. There was constantly something wrong with each guy I would date and I began to wonder if I was just too picky or if I was meant to be alone forever. However, I learned (way too many bad dates/relationships later) that no, I was not being too picky. I can't help it if I don't feel a connection or a desire to be with someone. And I was LOOKING. I was actively searching for someone to be with and make a future with instead of living my life and letting that person come along whenever it was fit and we were both ready to find each other. I'm good with being single. I like it just fine. I want to have fun and enjoy my life in whatever way I see fit for me. I feel free. I feel like I have control over my life. Don't get me wrong, if the "one" (although I don't believe there's only one person for you, one "soulmate" - but that's another blog post) were to show themselves tomorrow, or if something just happened to fall into place, then sure. But I'm so done looking. Side note: I'm also really sick of guys always assuming girls want a relationship with them. News flash, we don't.

2. Sometimes, you graduate with your bachelors degree only to realize a month later that you don't want to use it. Okay, well maybe not that I don't want to use it at all, but I sure don't plan on being a therapist or a psychologist like I thought I would. I love psychology, I always have and I always will. But the summer after I graduated, I worked in a summer program at a preschool and I kid you not, one day in and everything I knew about my future was suddenly in a million pieces. I absolutely loved it. I loved the kids, I loved the environment, and not to toot my own horn, but I was damn good at it. Fast forward to a few months later, and I've managed to snag a permanent position as a teaching assistant at that preschool and apply/get accepted to graduate school where I am working to get my masters in early childhood education. Reality and life hit me fast. But I had to grab it and run with it. I had never been so sure of anything, despite it only having been a short amount of time. THAT was where I was meant to be, what I was meant to do. I haven't had one single doubt since that first day at the summer program, over a year later. You don't always find your calling when you think you're going to or when you think you're supposed to. Sometimes it just randomly hits you in the face! Luckily, psychology is a huge part of what I will be doing as a preschool teacher for children with and without disabilities. It feels damn good to know what I want for once.

3. I love where I live. I thought without a doubt that once I graduated and got on my feet that I would be out of New England. California, Florida, anywhere else. I was ready to pack up and get the hell out of Massachusetts. But I have found recently that I love where I live. I love the people, I love the fact that I get to truly experience all four seasons, I love the familiarity. I can't say I'll be here forever, but I wouldn't mind if I was. I am happy here.

4. I'm more forgiving than I give myself credit for. Ironically enough, that post I wrote about that person I swore I would NEVER forgive...yeah, well I did. We hung out a couple times and we cleared the air and the tension has dissipated, but we're not close anymore. We never will be again. But it felt good to just let it go. To say, hey, we both grew up and learned more about ourselves and what happened in the past doesn't define us as people. It wasn't just that person, though. I've found myself reaching out to a lot of people from my past and it has felt really good to feel like all the bad vibes have gone away for good. I still stand by not ever needing to forgive anyone if you don't want to, but I guess it just took me a long time to realize that I actually did want to.

5. I love myself. No matter what, I'm always going to be a ball of anxiety who overthinks everything and needs to relax. I'm always going to wish I was prettier, skinnier, more "interesting", etc, etc, blah blah blah. But you know, I've gotten a handle on my anxiety. I've grown so much more confident than I ever have been. I look in the mirror and I like what I see most of the time. My body isn't perfect, but it's mine and I like to think I work it. I'm a nice person, I'm caring and empathetic and understanding. Sometimes I think I'm kind of funny. And no, I'm not cocky. I'm nowhere close. But I'm slowly realizing that I'm stuck with what I've got and I better love it. So I do.