My Love/Hate Relationship For The Lack of Commitment in Today’s Youth

“Hey Haley, how’s your boyfriend?” -My mother
“He’s not my boyfriend, mom, we’re just talking!” -Me

It’s no secret that older generations do not have the slightest clue of what “talking” means when it comes to dating. I cannot even count the amount of conversations my mom and I have had in which I’ve had to explain why the guy I was seeing wasn’t my boyfriend, and that we were not technically “dating”.

“Talking” in summary, takes all commitment and labels out of dating someone. You text, snapchat, hang out occasionally, maybe you’re hooking up,  but you’re  not announcing it, not labeling it, and most definitely not getting into a relationship on Facebook.

Some people hate it. Some people just like commitment and without it, end up falling for the person and wanting it to be more.

Some people love it. No strings attached, you can do whatever you want with anyone you want, feelings don’t have to make everything messy. Simple, easy.

Generally speaking, I’ve found most people have a preference, or don’t care much at all.

For me, I have quite the love/hate relationship with “talking”.

Sometimes, I think talking to someone casually is just fine. Maybe I’m not sure if I want to commit to anything, and maybe I’m just not ready. And honestly speaking, maybe I just don’t like the person enough.

However…sometimes it’s the most frustrating thing in the world to be partaking in. In my opinion, it can be hard to “talk” to someone for a long time and manage to not catch any feelings. More often than not, at least one of the two involved ends up falling for the other, and if the feeling isn’t mutual, it can be a serious emotional disaster.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t accidentally fallen for someone who never had any intention of committing to me. And it does not feel good.

So what do you do? Do you risk getting hurt because you’d rather have something with someone than nothing? Do you risk the other person falling for you, when you know you’re definitely not into getting into a real relationship?

I’m still working that out.

Our generation has completely ripped apart the concept of dating. We’ve changed it, mixed it around, taken out huge chunks of it and made it our own. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s hurting our ability to commit and form meaningful relationships. If we’re so focused on having fun and doing what we want, we’re losing that opportunity to really create something strong and bonding with another person (in a romantic, and/or sexual way). Sure, this can’t be said for everyone. Not everyone is into the “talking” stage, and much rather prefer relationships. But sometimes, being in that stage is just what someone needs before they’re READY to commit to something big. So really, it’s hard to say if this new way of dating is detrimental or not. I’d be interested to see how the amount of marriages in our generation go up or down, and similarly with divorce. Will we see more people opting out of getting married, for the purpose of never having to truly choose one person? Will we see that people are actually now able to better find that one person, because of their lack of committing to just anyone in the past? It’s something that will be an interesting statistic in the years to come.

So, whether or not you’re a fan of “talking” or not, it’s definitely fascinating how our generation has created a whole new spin on the dating game.