11 Things I Wish I Knew Before Starting College

As my time in college wraps up (just one week of classes left!) and I prepare to receive my Bachelor's in Psychology, I have really started to think about my four years at my university. Freshman year seems like it was just yesterday (no exaggeration, it really flew by), and that 18 year old girl who stepped onto campus for the first time four years ago is not quite the same, 22 year old young woman that is writing this now. I have learned a lot in school...but not just academically. I have to say, if I were to go back and had a chance to talk to that 18 year old me, I'd have quite a lot to tell her about what I wish I'd known before I started college.

1. You absolutely do not need to limit yourself to one group of friends. When I first started college, I was still a little shy and obviously nervous about this next big step in my life. So when I (rather quickly) found my group of friends, I kind of stopped looking. I had people to hang out with, and they knew people, and that's all I really needed. I had parties to go to, people to eat lunch with, and friends to experience our first big step in independence with. People really find their 'people' freshman year, especially when they're living on campus. So what happens when you find yourself without that initial group you thought you had for life? Well...brings me to my next point.
2. "Close" friends do NOT always mean "good" friends. People betray. They lie, they cheat, they put you down, gang up on you. You could be close to someone for so long, and then find them stabbing you in the back without warning. I always looked at it as such a betrayal...how could they do that to me? Well, they may have been close friends but that did not mean that they were truthful and caring friends. A truly good friend does not intentionally hurt you.
3. Don't slack off freshman year. Every college usually has a max and a min amount of classes or credits you can take per semester. They also probably have the "go-to" amount of classes, that will keep you on track to graduate within four years. For my university, that was 5 classes. If you took 5 classes all 8 semesters, you would graduate no problem. I didn't exactly think that through and ended up taking 4 classes all freshman year instead of 5, and once I hit junior year, I realized I'd have to be squeezing in 6 or more a semester if I wanted to graduate on time with everyone else. Luckily, I managed it, but taking 6 classes plus a lab all in one semester is way more stress than necessary...just take the amount of classes you need! There's always time for parties and sleeping.
4. If you need extra money, try to get a job on campus! I didn't have a job freshman year because the stress of a new environment and harder classes was enough to handle at the time. I wish I'd known I had options on working on campus before I started so I could have been working an extra year. But when I was a sophomore, I knew I needed to start making money again so I could go out with my friends and make a few necessary payments. I knew some people who were waitressing at night, but that seemed like a lot. I applied to a few on-campus jobs (there's on-campus student working & work study...if you don't have work study you can still see if you can work on campus!) and ended up getting one at my university's library. Not only did I get to make money while in school without overwhelming myself, but I ended up working with some of the sweetest people. Sometimes, if I got all my work done early, they let me catch up on homework. Getting this job on campus was one of the best decisions I made in college.
5. You don't have to know what your major is going to be right away. I didn't realize how many people came into college undeclared. When I went to my orientation the summer prior to starting, I was under the impression I had to choose a major right then and there, because everyone had one in mind already! So, without knowing I didn't have to know for sure until my third year, I went and signed up to be a sociology major...without ever having even taken a sociology course. When I completed my first semester and had finally taken a class in my "major", I realized I didn't have much interest in it and definitely did not want to make a career out of it. After a lot of thought (and effort...the process wasn't as simple as it was when I first picked at orientation) I eventually switched my major over to psychology. It was such a weight off my shoulders to know I was finally going to be studying something I found fascinating and could see myself doing for the rest of my life. Had I had the opportunity to go back and know this now, I definitely would have been undeclared until I was sure.
6. Even when you know your major, you don't have to know exactly what you want to do with it. When I had declared my major in psychology and started taking more intensive psychology classes, everyone around me seemed to have a good idea of what they wanted to do with their degree when they got out of school. Therapists, doctors, researchers, etc. I started to kind of panic when I realized I didn't know what I wanted to do with a psychology degree! The more I took classes, I found the topics that interested me and eventually came to the conclusion that I was most taken by psychology in children, abnormal behavior and behavior analysis. But I had to take classes that involved these topics in order to really find my place. Don't feel pressured to decide your entire career future the second you declare a major.
7. Work hard, but don't forget to have fun. And vice versa. There were three major groups I noticed in college. People who partied too much and didn't study, people who studied too much and didn't have any fun, and people who found the perfect balance. I personally think I went in and out of all three of these groups before finally settling right in the middle and learning the art of balance. You'll be both happy and successful if you manage your time.
8. Not everyone finds "the one" in college. I feel like people are always saying that most people find their true love in college. I'm not going to lie, I kind of expected to. My advice: don't expect that. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Either is fine and neither is right. You're not doomed and alone forever if you don't find someone in your four year block at a single university. You have much more time and many more places to explore.
9. Who you were in high school does not always carry over. Really popular in high school? Don't expect it to be the same in college, because it might not be. Same goes for being super unpopular. You could end up having a ton of friends. You have a chance to start over with new people who didn't grow up with you and see you at your most awkward stages. Thank god.
10. The freshman 15 (or more) is a real thing. And doesn't end after freshman year. There's a good chance you have access to a gym if you go to a university. Use it. I can't speak for everyone, but these past 4 years have not been my fittest. I have definitely gained weight from eating too much and too often and not getting my lazy ass to the provided gym. Just remember to stay healthy! Booze can really make you gain some pounds too....whoops!
11. You're going to be just fine. There will be moments where you will feel so overwhelmed, so sad, so stressed out, and you'll really consider giving up. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. But there really is. There will be giant bumps in the road but you will get over them. You really will be just fine.

WHY I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU: Why Being Unforgiving IS Okay Sometimes

We’re always taught either ‘forgive and forget’ or ‘forgive but don’t forget’, but why aren’t we ever told ‘don’t forgive and don’t forget’? What about the times when someone doesn’t deserve even a bit of your forgiveness? Why is our strength based on whether or not you can "find it in your heart" to forgive someone? 

I can honestly say that this has very rarely happened in my life. I am a fairly forgiving person — I tend to brush it off my shoulders and move on with my life. I have had people break me or my heart and have eventually realized that I did forgive them; I’d had the time to heal, process and accept. Truth be told, there’s only one person that I know I can never forgive and in my opinion, I have every right not to. I may not forgive someone, but that doesn't mean I'm looking for revenge either. I'm really not.

The thing about betrayal is that the closer the person is to you, the more painful it is. When someone that you told everything to, who knew everything about you, knew your demons and your struggles, and made promises to you that you never imagined they’d break, betrays you, it feels like the wind has been knocked out of you. It’s hard to deal with something like that, especially when it comes out of left field. 

I went through a lot of different phases when this happened to me recently. I cried, I was sad, I was angry, I was numb to it, crazily angry again, and then the indifference set in. Yes, it makes me sad that it happened. It makes me angry that it happened. But I found that I could not stay angry. Well, not that I was incapable. More that I chose not to. It wasn’t worth it…that person did what they did, didn’t attempt to mend it or apologize, and that made them unworthy of my time, thoughts or emotions. Being angry was pointless. 

So to that person: no. I’m not angry with you. But I can never, ever forgive you. 

I doubt you want forgiveness anyway. I mean, the chances that you even realize you were wrong are very slim. You’ll always have your own, twisted side of the story and that’s fine. Getting away was refreshing, and I know that eventually you’ll be nothing but a distant memory. Do I still find myself upset sometimes, confused, wanting to scream? Sure. But all the emotions I have had? They have been bottled up into absolute refusal to forgive you (for the most part). 

We can be told over and over again that when you’re unforgiving, you’re a bad person; that the ‘right’ thing to do is to forgive everyone no matter what they’ve done to you. That forgiveness is what strong people do. I no longer believe that. I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel that I should, and that revelation in itself has been incredibly freeing. 

Don’t forgive someone because you think that you have to. Also, don’t not forgive someone who might deserve it because you’re mad at the moment. It seems confusing but in all honesty, you have to really feel out the situation and find out what’s right for your well being and your mental state. But I do have one suggestion for you: let the anger out, and keep it out. If you aren’t willing to forgive someone, chances are they don’t deserve to take up any of your time anymore. 

TRICHOTI-WHAT? : WHAT IS TRICHOTILLOMANIA?

To start out this fun little lesson, I'd like to show you two very deceiving photos of me.

No, they aren't photoshopped. That's not why they are deceiving. 

I'll show you two less deceiving photos.

If it isn't obvious enough, I am basically forced to partake in the trend of filling in my brows. Not that I don't enjoy it, because I do. It's like art to me, making them look the same and be perfectly to my liking. But I don't 100% do it because I want to. I kind of have to. 

The last two photos aren't actually as bad as they have been, and probably will be again in the future. A closer look will show you a lack of the "outer tail" of both my eyebrows, as well as gaps both on the top and the bottom of them. No, I did not go crazy with my tweezers - I pulled them out with my fingers. 

Trichotillomania is (defined by google, because I can't word it as well as they can) "a disorder that involved recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out body hair". For a lot of people with Trichotillomania, it's the hair on their head that they incessantly pull out, but for me, it's always been my eyebrows. 

I don't even remember when I started doing it. People would notice me doing it and ask me to stop, and I get told all the time it's uncomfortable to watch, or get asked if it hurts. No, it doesn't. It actually brings me a disgusting amount of satisfaction to pull the hairs from my eyebrows, especially when I get all the way up to the follicle. I do it when I'm anxious, most of the time, but sometimes I'm just bored and I do it. 

This makes growing out my eyebrows nearly impossible. And that's when many people say "then just don't do it!"

I wish it were that easy!!!

I go through periods when I don't do it, but once I start up again that's it...I will most likely completely destroy at least one eyebrow. Once it's halfway gone, I tell myself that I might as well destroy the rest. Then it's so messed up that I want to cry and in a frenzy, run to go fill it in to see just how bad the damage is. And the cycle continues.

It definitely sucks that I feel like I can't be seen without my brows filled in, but it also motivates me to try and resist the urge. 

I guess I wanted to write this because I know a lot of people don't understand why people do it, or why they can't just stop, and to get it out there that it IS a real thing! 

(Shoutout to Anastasia Beverly Hills DipBrow Pomade in medium brown for saving my life time and time again)

(I also can't believe I am putting those photos up because to me, it's super embarrassing)

STORY TIME: MY PATH TO FIGHTING MY ISSUES

I considered never speaking directly about myself and my own issues simply because I didn’t know that I wanted everything to be so "public". Obviously I don’t share every detail of my life, but this seemed super personal. But I decided I should talk about it, not only for myself but for anyone else who might benefit from it. 

Everyone is different. Some people have lifelong battles with mental illness, some have chunks of time taken over by it, some have only experienced one major bump in the road, and others have never struggled with it at all.

I’m here to tell you that they are all…well, not “normal” per se, but not particularly abnormal either. You’re not alone if any of those categories seem to fit you to a T. 

Because everyone’s path in life is different, I figured I’d share my personal experience battling my own personal issues. We’ve all got something, and we’ve all got our own story. 

I was a troubled kid. At least at home I was. I got in trouble a lot, fought with everyone, cried and got incredibly angry for no apparent reason, and could never seem to control my emotions from completely taking over. But at school, I was quiet, shy and awkward. I had a hard time making friends early on, and my number one fear in the entire world was having to speak in front of the class. My face would turn bright red, I would forget how to breathe, and words would be cut off while I gasped for the air I was lacking from the nerves building up inside of me.

Traumatizing was an understatement every time I had to speak up, or got called on, or even had to get paired off into partners. I remember wanting to get up and run away if everyone had a partner and nobody wanted to be mine. 

At night, I would be upset and cry and dread going to school, but dread being at home too because I was constantly in a fight with my parents. 

Time went on, and it wasn’t until sophomore year of high school that things started to make more sense. I don’t remember a lot about that year because I seemed to have blocked it out of my memory completely. But I know that was my first long and serious period of depression. I was in such a funk, but thought I was doing a great job of hiding it. But apparently I wasn’t, because my best friend picked up on it. I didn’t know what to tell her, because I didn’t actually KNOW what was wrong. I didn’t think I had depression, I just thought I was in a long term bad mood. I was sick of high school, and the people around me. That was all.

I came out of it, though. But freshman year of college, it happened all over again. My friends would have to drag me out of my bed, which I laid in in my pitch dark room in the middle of the day. They thought I didn’t like them anymore, but I didn’t know how to explain to them that that wasn’t it at all, I just didn’t know what was wrong and all I knew is that I wanted to be alone and sleep. 

It was around this time that I started to know that this, along with my crippling anxiety about almost everything, was a problem. The only time I didn’t have that anxious, butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling was when I was asleep. I woke up with it, and fell asleep with it. 

I finally decided to tell my mom. I felt relief that I was finally putting some of it into words, and even better, she understood. I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t abnormal. And I could fix it. I didn’t HAVE to live like this! 

I went to a doctor, explained how I felt, and was prescribed Zoloft. I’ve been on it ever since. It significantly reduces my anxiety, and I haven’t had a long-term, major depressive episode in a long time. I still get down, I still get anxious, I still want to be left alone sometimes. But the difference is phenomenal. If I don’t take my medication two days in a row, I can tell. Everyone around me can tell, because I feel myself falling back into the mess I was before it.

Now, medication isn’t for everyone at all. Some people benefit more from therapy, and other methods of coping with their problems. But for me, this has helped me more than I could ever explain.

Whatever your problems are, there’s something or someone out there to help you. You don’t have to live miserably. You are not your problems, and your problems do not own you.

How To: Knowing What Friends To Keep Around

*Requested & in response to “How To: Rid Yourself of Sh*tty Friends”*

So you’ve learned how to spot those toxic—no good — sh*tty friends. Maybe you’ve officially removed them from your life, and now you’re only left with a handful (or less) of friends.

I spoke before about how I got rid of a lot of bad friends I was keeping around just for the sake of it. Nobody wants to say “Hey, I only have 2 friends!”. But like I’ve said before, and many people before me, a few good friends is so much better and more important than a bunch of fake ones.

I have a handful of friends. I’m not someone who has a lot of them anymore, and I’m okay with that. Not only have I figured out what makes a toxic friend, but I’ve also come to realize what makes a REALLY GOOD FRIEND (I’m gonna call those my good ole RGFs).

What makes someone an RGF and worth keeping around?

1. They make you feel good about yourself. You never leave after being with them feeling down about yourself, like you might with a toxic friend. In fact, you might just feel the opposite. They’re encouraging, shut down all your insecurities and tell you how great you are when you feel like you’re falling apart.
2. They care to ask how you are even when you don’t want to talk. Maybe you’re sending out depressing tweet after depressing tweet, or haven’t answered your texts in a while, making it seem like you’ve fallen off the face of the earth. Most people tend to think that means you want to be completely left alone. And maybe you do. But an RGF will be there if you need to talk, and let you know that. They’ll send a text saying they are there if you need to talk, even if they know you won’t reply. Even a simple, ‘how are you doing’ can make the world of a difference when it feels like you have nobody by your side.
3. You can go days without talking, but it doesn’t change a thing. There are friends you talk to every single day, but what about those ones that you don’t see often, and sometimes don’t even talk to every week? There are some people that if you haven’t talked in a while, you start to grow apart. But an RGF can be someone that even if you haven’t talked in a long time, you’re closer than ever and they will always be there when you need them. You don’t have to constantly be talking or hanging out in order for them to be a good friend. Low-maintenance friends are just as good in my book.
4. They’re always looking out for your best interest. They want to see you succeed, not fail. They urge you to do what’s best for you, and aren’t selfish about it. Don’t stick around someone who is trashing your dreams and aspirations, or someone who fills your mind with fears and doubts. Encouragement and honest advice is a quality you need in a RGF.
5. They’ll always be on your side. No double agents allowed! Even if you make a mistake, they don’t leave your side. They are honest with you, sure, but they're still there at the end of the day because they know the true you and your true intentions. They don’t betray you, turn on you, or kick you while you’re down. They stand up for you, and help you stand up for yourself.
6. Your fights are nonexistent, insignificant and/or only make your friendship stronger. Believe it or not, there are friends I have never fought with. But some of my RGFs and I have gotten into arguments, but that didn’t tear us apart. Maybe we both realized how stupid it was, or we weren’t willing to let it get in the way of our friendship. And many times, getting into these arguments can actually make your bond stronger. This is especially true if you feel as though both of you are holding things in that need to be let out.
7. You can be completely yourself with them. They know the weirdest and worst sides of you. You don’t have to put on a facade, you are entirely yourself when you’re with them and you don’t feel the need to pretend to be anything else. And they feel the same way with you. It takes a RGF to see the sides of you you tend to hide from everyone else, and still want to be your friend.
8. They take care of you. This can be mentally, physically, or whatever ways they choose to show they care. There have been times I was way too drunk, and my good friends sacrificed the rest of their night to make sure I drank enough water, had my hair held back when I threw up, and got safely into bed. Or when I got dumped and needed someone to come lay with me and put on a sappy movie while we ate our weights in junk food.
9. You can always be completely honest with each other. Honesty and cruelty are two very different things. You can be honest without being mean and that’s what an RGF knows how to do. “I might try a different top!” is a lot nicer than “That shirt looks terrible on you”. If you don’t like their new significant other, “You deserve someone who treats you right” is a much better option than “I hate them, and you’re stupid for staying with them.” Not only are they able to deliver the truth nicely, but they are also not afraid to hold back. Don’t lie and say they look good when you know they don’t. Don’t tell them you like their significant other just to please them. Honesty is the best policy!
10. You can’t imagine life without them in it. Simple as that.

My Love/Hate Relationship For The Lack of Commitment in Today’s Youth

“Hey Haley, how’s your boyfriend?” -My mother
“He’s not my boyfriend, mom, we’re just talking!” -Me

It’s no secret that older generations do not have the slightest clue of what “talking” means when it comes to dating. I cannot even count the amount of conversations my mom and I have had in which I’ve had to explain why the guy I was seeing wasn’t my boyfriend, and that we were not technically “dating”.

“Talking” in summary, takes all commitment and labels out of dating someone. You text, snapchat, hang out occasionally, maybe you’re hooking up,  but you’re  not announcing it, not labeling it, and most definitely not getting into a relationship on Facebook.

Some people hate it. Some people just like commitment and without it, end up falling for the person and wanting it to be more.

Some people love it. No strings attached, you can do whatever you want with anyone you want, feelings don’t have to make everything messy. Simple, easy.

Generally speaking, I’ve found most people have a preference, or don’t care much at all.

For me, I have quite the love/hate relationship with “talking”.

Sometimes, I think talking to someone casually is just fine. Maybe I’m not sure if I want to commit to anything, and maybe I’m just not ready. And honestly speaking, maybe I just don’t like the person enough.

However…sometimes it’s the most frustrating thing in the world to be partaking in. In my opinion, it can be hard to “talk” to someone for a long time and manage to not catch any feelings. More often than not, at least one of the two involved ends up falling for the other, and if the feeling isn’t mutual, it can be a serious emotional disaster.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t accidentally fallen for someone who never had any intention of committing to me. And it does not feel good.

So what do you do? Do you risk getting hurt because you’d rather have something with someone than nothing? Do you risk the other person falling for you, when you know you’re definitely not into getting into a real relationship?

I’m still working that out.

Our generation has completely ripped apart the concept of dating. We’ve changed it, mixed it around, taken out huge chunks of it and made it our own. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s hurting our ability to commit and form meaningful relationships. If we’re so focused on having fun and doing what we want, we’re losing that opportunity to really create something strong and bonding with another person (in a romantic, and/or sexual way). Sure, this can’t be said for everyone. Not everyone is into the “talking” stage, and much rather prefer relationships. But sometimes, being in that stage is just what someone needs before they’re READY to commit to something big. So really, it’s hard to say if this new way of dating is detrimental or not. I’d be interested to see how the amount of marriages in our generation go up or down, and similarly with divorce. Will we see more people opting out of getting married, for the purpose of never having to truly choose one person? Will we see that people are actually now able to better find that one person, because of their lack of committing to just anyone in the past? It’s something that will be an interesting statistic in the years to come.

So, whether or not you’re a fan of “talking” or not, it’s definitely fascinating how our generation has created a whole new spin on the dating game. 

How To: Rid Yourself of Sh*tty Friends

There comes a point when you begin to realize someone you are friends with is causing you more harm than good.

Maybe they make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe they thrive off of drama. Maybe you see the way they treat others badly. Maybe they talk badly behind your back, or about others to you, giving you a good idea that they’re probably saying things about you to other people.

Whatever your reasoning is, if you think someone is a bad friend and you know it isn’t worth keeping them around, here’s what you gotta do: get rid of them.

Okay, okay, so it doesn’t seem that simple. But the thing is…it kind of is.

I had a friend, let’s call her Samantha. Samantha and I were close friends for a number of years, and for the most part we got along great. We had our squabbles and little fights, but nothing too detrimental. However, as time went on, I began to pick up on little things and the more I noticed, the seemingly worse they got. She would make little comments to bring me down (with the excuse of “I’m just being honest!”…okay, but if I ask you if I look ugly, and you say no, but then tell me all my physical flaws regardless, I’m going to feel pretty bad) or get mad at me out of nowhere, and not tell me what I’d done. I would hear from mutual friends that she was talking about me, and when I’d confront her about it she would lie to my face. She got angry all the time, upset about nothing. She left me out if she had the chance, and would manipulate others when I’d get in fights with other friends because she really, truly thrived off of drama, even if it wasn’t her own. She always wanted to be on top - she wanted to be better than me, just because of her own insecurities.

I put up with Samantha for years. I’d always end up apologizing even when I’d know I hadn’t done anything wrong, because I didn’t like to fight. I tried yelling at her, but that never worked, I tried talking to her nicely and that didn’t work. Nothing worked. And all I would do is dread being around her, and have to pretend everything was alright in order not to cause myself any more stress about it.

But eventually, it just really got to me. I thought about all the horrible things she’d done, how badly she would try to make me feel, and how much of a truly terrible, selfish, manipulative friend she really was. And I’m not going to lie… I snapped.

So one day, I said enough is enough, and I told her I was done with her and could no longer be her friend. She hit me with every insult or jab that she could, but I didn’t care anymore. I’d figured her out. And I knew I would soon be free of her.

In this same span of time, I got rid of a lot of very toxic people around me. I was left with maybe 2 or 3 really good friends I could trust. At first it felt lonely and I almost missed having a big group of friends even if I was miserable when they were around. But I really thought about it, and as cliche as it sounds, I would so much rather have a few good friends, than a bunch of fake ones.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first. We’re kind of taught not to at times, that we shouldn’t be selfish. But with your relationships with other people, if they’re not making you feel good and aren’t benefiting you in anyway, it’s time to be selfish. It’s time to say, you know what, I matter more than what you make me feel sometimes.

It’s hard. it’s hard to say goodbye to a friend you shared some good memories with. But in the end, it is so worth it. It’s freeing. You feel like you can breathe again, like you’ve cleaned out all the dirt and muck you were covered in.

If there’s someone you know like this, do yourself a favor and step away. If I’ve learned anything in my  life so far, it’s that people don’t change. And if they do, it’s not because you wanted them to. You cannot make anyone change. They have to want to.

So say goodbye to those terrible friends, and find people who make you feel as good, if not better, of a person as you are.

When It's Time To Be Selfish

We are taught our entire lives that being selfish is a bad thing: putting other people before yourself is the way to go, and never make everything about you and your needs or desires. And in a lot of circumstances, I still find that to be true.

However, I also know that sometimes, being selfish is exactly what you need to do.

I’ve always been a selfless person for the most part. At least I like to think so. I thoroughly enjoy other people's happiness, and will often do whatever I can to make that happen. I love giving gifts, I love making others feel loved, and putting their needs before my own. We’re trained to be this way. Nobody wants to be labeled as selfish or self-centered.

So why in the world would there ever be a time to be selfish?

You need to take care of yourself. Physically, and mentally. You can work out everyday, eat clean and still not be completely healthy. Mental health is a serious, scientifically proven problem that affects more than just your mood. I can say from experience that no matter how healthy you think you are, mental issues can put a physical toll on you as well.

I’m surrounded by other people who suffer from mental illness of some sort. Depression, anxiety, bipolar, eating disorders, and so many more. I’ve personally been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life, but its always been something I kept to myself as much as I could. Not wanting to worry anyone else, or realizing someone else needed help with their problems more than I did, and putting mine on the back burner to help them is what seemed like the right thing to do.

I’ve never not loved helping other people get through their issues. I want to do anything I can to make someone feel worthy and good about themselves. That’s not what this is about.

By constantly putting my feelings and issues on the back burner, I have essentially begun to neglect them. It’s when you start to ignore what’s bothering you that they actually begin to grow and get significantly worse.

If you feel yourself beginning to feel like you’re being dragged down by your own actions or lack there of, if the weight of your feelings is getting too heavy, if you find yourself breaking down and losing it more often and with less warning, then it might be time to be selfish.

If the slightest bump in the road brings you all the way down, if you feel overwhelmed with the slightest of issues, if you seem to be snapping at people or wanting to give up completely, it’s time to be selfish.

If one day you find that you have officially reached your breaking point, it’s time to be selfish.

Take your life back. If you’re not happy where you are, leave. If you’re not satisfied with the people you choose to keep around, let them go. For one second forget about everyone else, and remember that YOU deserve the respect you constantly give to others. Do what you need to do for no reason other than it’s what is right for you. Don’t look to others for what you should do.

I’ve found that intuition is an incredibly powerful thing. That inner voice in your head? It’s there for a reason. Listen to it.

I for one can vouch for all of you thinking that you just can’t do that. You can’t leave, you can’t walk away, and make a change for bettering yourself. It wasn’t until I hit that breaking point that I realized that being selfish was the only way I was going to be better. But don’t wait for that breaking point. Don’t let yourself get there.

I came across a quote recently. “Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” We all mess up, but sometimes it is that that makes us realize where we are really supposed to be.

So go ahead. Be selfish. Do things for you. You get one chance in life, so make it great.